How to approach your speaking presentation. 4 tips to prepare.

Have you heard the statistic that some people are more afraid of public speaking than death? Can it really be that bad? I suppose it can. The anxiety is real.

I always ask clients: What about being on stage makes you so afraid? The answer is typically something like:

1. People will laugh at me.

2. I’ll be seen as a fraud because I really don’t know what I’m talking about.

3. I’ll forget everything.

And on and on it goes …

Public speaking is tough because you are in front of a room full of strangers. You don’t know what they are thinking. You are completely exposed and vulnerable. You can’t read the audience’s mind and always assume the worst. For example, someone may smile when you don’t expect it and, obviously, it’s because your shirt is unbuttoned or something is horribly wrong. Or someone gets up to leave. It’s not because they really need to pee. It’s because they are offended by what you’re saying or believe you are a fraud who doesn’t deserve the stage.

Any of the reasons that bounce around in my mind are typically due to my own insecurity. I doubt myself and don’t think I deserve to be here because someone else deserves the stage more than me. This is all normal. Speaking produces anxiety. There’s no way around it.

These four tips are general ways to approach your presentation, not to polish it (I'll talk about that in a different post). If you're looking for a way to begin practicing, these will help.

Tip #1: Embrace the anxiety.

The best and most experienced speakers I know have anxiety before they speak. Very few professional speakers don’t feel this anxiety. So, you're not alone. It's normal but the key is learning to live with it.

I tell my speakers this: you will have anxiety. Don’t try to suppress it or forget about it. Walk up to your anxiety and give it a big ole hug. Welcome your anxiety as a fellow traveler. It will always be with you. If it’s not, there are other things to be concerned about.

Anxiety is about getting used to that feeling (I’m not talking about clinically diagnosed anxiety). I’m talking about the butterflies or dread you feel. I’m talking about the worry you won’t be good enough. Give your anxiety a hug. Welcome it.

Tip #2: Learn your talk, don't memorize it.

Never, under any circumstances, should you memorize your talk word for word. Why? Because every word depends on the word before it. If you forget one word, you lose everything after it. Memorizing your talk is an unnecessary risk.

So, if I shouldn’t memorize my talk what am I supposed to do? Learn your talk. Read the manuscript over and over again. When you start to get comfortable, start looking up as much as you can. When you only need to look at your notes a few times each page, move to a bullet point outline. This happens after you read through it about 10 times.

Don’t worry about getting it perfect. Instead, embrace saying your talk a bit differently each time. Word order might change but the order of ideas stays the same. When you move from a manuscript to a bullet point outline, you get confidence that yes, you can do this. Then move to a single word outline (a word for each paragraph or page). Then use nothing but your slide deck.

Tip #3: Feel your talk.

Only after you’ve learned your talk can you feel it. Sometimes you may hear someone say “vary your vocal inflection.” This is a bad way to say something more helpful: Feel your talk. What emotions are you trying to convey? The audience should feel that in your voice. If the action in the story is fast, you should speak at a quicker pace. If the action slows down, if you really need us to hear what you’re about to say, you simply slow down. Your pace slows. You want your audience to know that they need to slow down and listen.

Use your voice to help the audience feel what your words are signaling. Your voice is the post powerful part of giving a moving, compelling talk.

Tip# 4: Practice in uncomfortable settings.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve told someone this only to find out that they practiced in their ideal setting: somewhere they know (office or home) in complete silence. It is exceptionally rare to speak in an ideal setting, so why are you practicing in one?

Someone coughs. Another gets up because they just can’t hold it in any longer. A water bottle crashes to the floor. Someone comes in late and the door slams. They aren’t trying to be disrespectful. Instead, these are the things that just happen. And they happen all the time.

But never fear. This is why you should practice standing (always practice standing and speaking) in a public space. You read that right. Find a park where people are playing, where dogs are going wild. Maybe in the middle of your living room with kids playing around you. Maybe there's a construction zone somewhere where you can stand across the street. Practice in places where you have the most distractions. Even at a Starbucks, muttering it under your breath, sitting at a table.

If you practice in a place with distractions, you will set yourself up for success and the actual event will seem easy.